Is Potluck the New Etiquette?
If someone invites me over to dinner, am I being more or less polite if I offer to bring something? Does that change as I become more insistent?
And if I link to Meg Logan's Blog, where this question originated, will she invite me to dinner? Of course, I have absolutely no idea where she lives ...
And if I link to Meg Logan's Blog, where this question originated, will she invite me to dinner? Of course, I have absolutely no idea where she lives ...
posted by Rebecca at 11:12 AM
5 Comments:
hi... I'm Italian, so I'm not sure if I understood everything... but I guess is nice leave a message for from Italy :-)
bye
hi... I'm Italian, so I'm not sure if I understood everything... but I guess is nice leave a message for from Italy :-)
bye
I always offer, and usually they take me up on it...
If they assured me they didn't need anything but the wonderful presence :O) of my wonderful family, then I wouldn't insist on bringing anything.
I appreciate it when people offer to bring something along, but then most of my get-togethers are impromptu with other homeschool mommies! Or with family...
It is always polite to ask, "What can I bring?" when invited to dinner. Usually you will get one of two answers (from a gracious hostess): 1. "That is sweet of you to offer! I'm still finalizing the menu. Is there something in particular you would like to bring?, or 2. "Oh nothing, thank you. I have it all covered!" If the hostess says the latter, PLEASE PLEASE leave it at that. There is nothing worse than having a lovely menu all planned out and one of your guests insists, "Oh I make great _______, let me bring it" or some such.
As someone who loves to cook and entertain, I am usually prepared to let someone bring something. Especially if I am stumped as to dessert, or don't feel like making a salad. Sometimes I will ask them to bring a bottle of wine, (I will always have one on standby, but we'll drink theirs first. With just four adults one bottle is usually plenty).
If your offer to bring something is declined, it is always gracious to bring flowers or a bottle of wine, or both.
Of course, if you come to my house, all you need to bring is your smile and your fashion advice!
xoxo
If someone's having a potluck, they should make that clear from the get-go. So, if they just give you a straight-up invitation to come over, it shouldn't be necessary to offer to bring something.
There sure is nothing wrong with offering to bring something! But one word of warning - when you offer, do be ready to take no for an answer!
When I invite my friends over and I'm NOT having a potluck, it's because I want to give to them, in a spirit of hospitality. When people have a problem accepting that, they don't realize how rejecting it can be. Sure they're trying to be nice, but their anxious reluctance to be in my debt tends to shine through :-(
I've had people say flat-out: "Well, X and I are definitely bringing our own booze!" (when I'd gone to a lot of trouble to pick out a wine I thought they would like), and I've even had people insist on bringing over decorations and plates!
So, potlucks are great, but not every dinner has to be a potluck. Hospitality may be out of fashion, but it's a virtue with an ancient tradition, which would be a shame to lose.
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